Employee refuses to do her coworker's work because her coworker is upset about her breakup 4 months ago: 'I was supportive, but now she's just milking it.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Feb 18, 2026 8:00 PM EST

She doesn't have to be cheerful every day, but she should be able to do her work. 

It can be really difficult to wake up every day and go to work when you're going through something extremely emotionally distressing. When I was going through a breakup of sorts, work was one of the only things that I felt I could consistently do. I was barely eating, sleeping, or hanging out with friends, but I knew that I had to go to work, and that structure kept me from sinking into a deeper, darker hole than I was already in. 

Showing up to work is only half the battle. It's much more difficult to pretend that everything is okay with your coworkers when you're emotionally spiraling. Nobody wants to be known as "the girl who cries at work," but sometimes you just can't help it! All that you can do is try to show up as emotionally regulated as you can, get your work done the best you can, and run and hide in the bathroom if you need to have a power cry. It's not glamorous, but it has to be done. If you're so emotionally distressed that you can't work at all, even if your company gives you the accommodation to work at home, then you need to look into taking a more formal leave of absence. It's not fair to you or your coworkers to show up to your job every day without the ability to get any work done.

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  • Sad girl crying from bad news sitting with laptop
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The employee in this story is going through it. Her boyfriend broke up with her in November, and she's still so distressed that she can't get her work done. Her coworkers have been picking up the slack, but they're not thrilled about it, especially considering she's getting paid for doing no work, and they're getting paid the same for doing double their workload!

  • Am I wrong for telling a co-worker that she doesn't get special treatment just because she's sad?

    This title makes me sound like a j for sure but hear me out. I work in a small office building for an estate company, I've been working there for 6 months now.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • In November, a co- worker of ours, I'll call her Lina to make it easier, came out as bi to us while we were grabbing dinner after work on a Friday.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • She told us she's known for a month now and has been sitting on it to come to terms with it and that she was planning on telling her bf that night, but she wanted our opinions first.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • I understood it because most people on that table were her besties and we were all civil together and we were all girls, so maybe she wanted a girl's opinion?
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • Anyhow, the weekend goes by and she returns to work absolutely wrecked. I'm talking eyes puffy, hair a mess and wearing the same clothes from Friday.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • A woman is crying with smeared makeup
    via Jonathan Castañeda (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • I heard through the grapevine that the bf didn't take it well and dumped her. They've been together for four year apparently so she's obviously distressed.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • For the whole week, her performance was absolutely horrendous, no work done, no meetings attended, absolutely nothing.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • Our team leader was good friends with Luna so she divided Lina's work on the rest of us, "just for the week" she said.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • But this continued on until now and we're in February! Yesterday, the team leader decided to give me one of lina's projects because this would've been her fifth anniversary with her bf.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • I said no, I already had my own work, why would I do someone's work for her and she gets paid for absolutely nothing while I'm still struggling with my salary and now double the work?!
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • A woman sitting at a table using a laptop computer
    via Wesley Tingey (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • The team leader threatened to write me up, so I went to HR and told her everything that has been happening, showed her the emails where the team leader gave us lina's work and told us to be patient.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • On lunch break, Lina tried to corner me, telling me she's going through a rough time and that I should be supportive.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • I told her I was supportive, but now she's just milking it, she comes and goes as she pleases because the team leader covers for her, she doesn't work because her work gets handed to us and it's not fair, I told her that just because she's sad she got dumped that doesn't mean we all need to pick up her slack, we all have our lives and problems but we don't make it eachother's problems.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • She called me a "C- word" and I just walked back to HR and told her what happened, they were both called in for a meeting and she's now facing possible termination (according to the same grapevine).
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • I don't think I was in the wrong for going to HR, I'm not going to work for someone's else and they get to hand it in and take all the credit.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • However, I think that I probably shouldn't have said what I said, four years is a long time and she did look absolutely wrecked, but at this point it was getting a bit ridiculous to still expect such treatment.
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • Popular-Reply-3051 NTA. 3 months for an issue she created? I understand compassion for a few weeks but I agree it's now taking the Honestly unless you're planning to cheat on your partner why doesn't it matter if you're bi? Never understood that. A boyfriend could like men too. As long as he's not thinking he can have his cake and eat too just because he's bi. I'm thinking she didn't just say she likes girls too. She was expecting a e or to be able to have threes two partners.
    via u/Popular-Reply-3051
  • Informal-Contact-531 Original Poster's Reply Now that you're mentioning it, there were some more details shared through the same grapevine about why they actually broke up that I didn't want to put but I'm just gonna say.... His sister was mentioned, you figure the meaning out yourself
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • TheRealBabyPop I struggle to understand something. I'm in a committed relationship, I wouldn't consider cheating. I discover that I'm bi. But what difference does it make? I'm in a committed relationship, I wouldn't consider cheating. I'm not bi, but that doesn't mean I'm not attracted to other men. But I'm in a committed relationship, I wouldn't consider cheating. I don't need to tell my husband that I'm attracted to other people, he probably is, too. So why did Lena need to tell her bf this???
    via u/TheRealBabyPop
  • Informal-Contact-531 Original Poster's Reply I didn't really write a lot of details (even though I know the whole thing, and it's MESSY) because I didn't want to put her laundry out there for everyone, so maybe you don't understand but I'm telling you, the bf was right
    via u/Informal-Contact-531
  • Just Getting_By_1 If she can't function at work, she should be on sickleave, not getting a free ride on coworkers backs. You did what you had to do. NTA.
    via u/Just Getting_By_1
  • Grofactor NTA and be on the lookout for any retaliation at work.
    via u/Grofactor
  • Proof-Mechanic-3624 Nta. At the beginning, I think the helping hand was thoughtful, but as you said, it seems like she's milking it.
    via u/Proof-Mechanic-3624
  • sweets4n6 NTA. The second your boss threatened to write you up for not doing someone else's work was the second they may has well have gone to HR themself. They made it a problem for everyone and you took her work far longer than you should have. Doing for a week, I get it. Maybe even til the end of November. But three whole months, nearly four, of doing someone else's work because they're sad they were dumped is ridiculous. Lina shouldn't be the only one facing termination, your boss should be
    via u/sweets4n6
  • Popular-Parsnip8911 NTA. If she's that upset she should go off sick
    via u/Popular-Parsnip8911
  • NailWild7439 NTA. I had a missed a week of work due to having a D&E. When I came back I did my own work, actually I had to pick up my coworkers, because she'd gone home for Christmas. So Lina can S k it up, its been 3 months. Picking up slack for a coworker for week or two is one thing. No big deal, we all do it, hopefully they'll do they same if we're going through something someday. But the continued coddling after 3 months is ridiculous. And calling you the c-word is beyond. I'd have gone to
    via u/NailWild7439
  • pwolf1771 NTA your team lead is a disaster and you handled it really well. The fact this lasted into the new year is bonkers were your other colleagues just happily covering for her?
    via u/pwolf1771

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